Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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