Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
