He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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