Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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