you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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