Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize