Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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