I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize