Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Let's paint friendship bongs
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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