you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
