Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.

(734): View more from Michigan

What'd you do?

(313): View more from Michigan

Its more like what im about to do.

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(540): View more from Virginia

that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen

(703): View more from Virginia

i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid

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(270): View more from Kentucky

There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time

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(574): View more from Indiana

Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.

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(432): View more from Texas

highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.

(1-432): View more from Texas

You are officially qualified to graduate from college.

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