ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
