Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
