youre lurking in front of me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
