Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
