just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
