I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
two words...techno handjob
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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