i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
