Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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