Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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