Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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