Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
