Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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