is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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