Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
