It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize