Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
