I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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