Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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