PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
