He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
