the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
