I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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