Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
