yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
