He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Who died my cat blue again?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
