Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
