I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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