she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
