Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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