Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
