May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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