It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
