new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
