I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
