he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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