yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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