school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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