I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
