remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
