I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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