I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize