ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
