We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
