is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
